KH Interference - part 2

Saïx led me through the hallways and other strange rooms, leading me upwards all the time. Like Xigbar said, Xemnas was often up at the top of the castle. Which was enormous, I was beginning to understand.
I followed Saïx into a room that was so large; when I took a hesitant glance over the edge I couldn’t see the bottom. Instead I saw the bright white of the walls fade into shadows and darkness. I looked away, and didn’t look back down.
We walked out onto a long, wide bridge, and stepped into a large square that it ended in. Red, see-through walls went up, startling me slightly, and then the platform began its ascent. Saïx simply crossed his arms and stood there, watching me most of the time.
It felt unnerving to have his eyes on me almost the entire time, but I remembered his expression when he looked at Axel. He and Axel must be close friends…
I wondered… who were all these people? Where did they come from? Who in the group were close, and who knew each other before they joined? I had to know exactly what a Nobody was, and why they create this group. It seemed like all sorts of characters were in it, so apparently it didn’t matter what kind of person you were. Except that you had to be a Nobody.
I have to meet Xemnas… I can’t wait.
“You seem to be taking all this rather calmly. I’m surprised… I thought someone like you would want to go back to where you came from. But you’re behaving so well.” I looked up and met Saïx’s eyes, seeing a mild curiosity in them. I gave a small shrug.
“Maybe I’m too curious for my own good. I really don’t know,” I added in a murmur, being honest. Saïx seemed surprise at my answer even more than he had been before.
“Hmph, you don’t know?” he stated, giving a small laugh at that.
“What’s so funny?” I asked, looking back to him with slightly narrowed eyes.
“You don’t even know why you want to stay here?” he smiled slightly at me, his eyes narrowing naturally as he did so. I frowned in some embarrassment at his amusement.
I don’t think it’s important to let them know I don’t remember anything from before the darkness, I thought casually to myself. The less they knew about me, the better. If they knew something about me that even I didn’t…
“I suppose not,” I finally admitted to him, letting go of my embarrassment. Saïx smiled at me for a moment longer.
“Maybe you want to become one of us,” he said, ending the conversation. I glanced at him, wondering.
What are all of you? Why won’t you tell me? Unless they all think I already know?
The elevator began slowing down, and within seconds it stopped completely, the red walls dissipating and letting us walk off of the platform now.
We continued ever upward, closer to the top, and closed to the heart-shaped moon. I decided, even though it was strange, that I liked that moon. It seemed so mysterious, but so powerful and bright, and almost… like it had so many emotions locked up inside of it.
Is it a heart, or a moon? I wondered to myself curiously, smiling inwardly.
Saïx led me through another, cavernous room, along paths suspended strangely in midair, paths with no railings, and leading us higher still.
A strange, almost eerie-like glow came in through the immensely large windows, and with a start I realized it was the moon above the castle, glowing so much more brightly, so much closer now.
I felt like I had been walking with Saïx for a long time, so a question naturally came to my mind.
“Do you always have to walk all this way to reach Xemnas?” I think my voice must have been slightly sarcastic and surprised at the same time.
Saïx made a ‘hmph’ sound with a smile, but didn’t look back at me.
“Hardly. When he wants to speak with us, we normally use the Round Room, which is also used for our regular meetings.”
“So, wait… he’s always up at the top of this castle, having all of you do his work for him?” I said back, confused and raising an eyebrow. Saïx stopped walking, and turned halfway around, staring at me sideways.
“We don’t do ‘his’ work for him, we do it for us. We all want a shared goal to be accomplished. That’s why we work together.”
“That still doesn’t change the fact that he’s up there all the time, and is that the only reason you’re all here?” Saïx eyed me for a moment, an almost curious look in his eyes.
“It’s the binding reason we’re all here, and we’ll work together to accomplish it, whether we ‘care’ for each other or not. Xemnas is the one who started the Organization, the one who gave some of us meaning, and it’s because of him that this world, that Kingdom Hearts, is existing at this very moment around us,” Saïx finished, and with that he turned and began walking away once more.
I stared after him for a moment, silent. What is Kingdom Hearts, and what is this goal? What does this Organization stand for?
I looked at Saïx’s back, at his striking blue hair that waved back and forth slightly in his motion of walking. Xemnas knows all of the answers to my questions. He has to. He’s the one who wanted me here in the first place. He has to know…
I closed my eyes a moment, and when I opened them again I felt my heart beating faster in desperation, and excitement.
Deep inside my heart, I wondered at my emotions.
But maybe the reason I was so excited was because I didn’t know anything.
Knowing the truth can change everything.
***
“Come, don’t lag behind,” Saïx was saying to me as he glanced back, “Xemnas is waiting at the top of these stairs.”
I had momentarily paused at the base of them where they came out of the castle into fresh air, barely thinking that Saïx’s voice sounded strained.
I knew we were at the top, because the heart-shaped moon was right there, looming overhead, bright and beautiful and powerful. It captivated me so much more now, since I was so close to it. I wanted to reach out and touch it, to see if that light was really there, if that power was truly emanating from it. What this Kingdom Hearts?
I didn’t notice Saïx walking down the few steps to reach me again; my eyes were still captivated by the moon. I could only see the top of it from my position on the stairs, but it was enough to still my movements.
I hardly noticed when Saïx reached out and stroked some of my hair back from my face, leaning over me, bending in close to whisper in my ear.
“The power of Kingdom Hearts is great.”
He moved back a bit to gaze up at it as well, a strange play of emotions in his eyes. My eyes moved to him, slowly, like I didn’t want to look away from the moon. His expression was like a panther prowling in the jungle, waiting to strike at its prey, so desperately wanting it more than anything else.
“It captivates you, pulling at your heart, at your very soul. Perhaps because it is formed of so many hearts,” he whispered now, and I flinched slightly, snapping out of my reverie.
“Kingdom Hearts? This moon is Kingdom Hearts?” I said then, surprised at his words. Formed from so many hearts?
“But what is Kingdom Hearts?” I added, feeling a bit cautious as my eyes moved back to gaze at that moon. I couldn’t let myself get so distracted like that, especially around these people.
“It is the heart of all worlds,” Saïx answered back, a flicker of a smile going across his face. His movements were soft and his voice was low, but his eyes, when he looked at me for a brief moment, made me freeze. Wild, yet full of a tentative control so those emotions didn’t leak out.
“Xemnas is waiting up these stairs. Go on, meet with him.” Saïx turned and walked away from me, going back down the way we had come. He didn’t turn back, his form receding into shadows, tense and faltering in its steps.
I stared after him uncertainly, hovering between listening to his words and following him back down. What was it with these people suddenly leaving me after bringing me somewhere?
I turned away from the dark stairs below me, and began walking up them to the very top of the castle, closer to the moon, and closer to Xemnas.
I had to meet with him. I would anyway, whether I wanted to or not.
***
Kingdom Hearts.
It was so strange. I felt captivated by it, but I wondered if it was only because I had never seen anything like it before, something so powerful and beautiful. It seemed to have a much stronger effect on Saïx, though; that must have been why he left so strangely, so tense and stiff, yet with such wild, almost berserk, eyes.
Then again, I was now expecting these people to hide something behind their usual face.
Ten more steps to go…
I quickly looked over to my left, where the platform was, and as I slowly ascended I began to see someone’s form, standing with his back to me. My heart was hammering in my chest, frantic, desperate, excited… almost wild, like Saïx’s eyes.
Now I’m just making myself anxious, I thought, trying to calm down as I felt increasingly nervous.
I reached the last step, and walked up onto the platform, quietly, but I had a feeling Xemnas already knew I was there. His back was to me, and he wore the same, black cloaks like the rest of the group. Silver hair fell to about mid-back, casting a strange glow as it reflected Kingdom Hearts’ light.
I stood there, silently, staring at him for a moment. He didn’t turn around, the only thing moving being his hair from a sudden, slight breeze. I blinked, then narrowed my eyes a bit and looked up at Kingdom Hearts.
It was radiant, but for so much light, the edges seemed to fade almost into shadows.
Light, and darkness—existing side by side? Was that possible? After being stuck in that darkness, I couldn’t find any light at all, because the light that was in my heart had been fading away.
How could light and darkness exist so close, and almost so peacefully together? Was Kingdom Hearts… that special?
“Such a beautiful thing, Kingdom Hearts.” I flinched slightly, startled at the sudden voice. I looked quickly back to Xemnas, my heart hammering in my chest and my nerves alert. He raised his hands slightly towards the moon, his back still turned to me.
“It calls out for light and darkness, and yet… what is it truly like inside? It can only be one or the other.” His voice was so smooth and deep, soft, almost coaxing and yet full of power. It felt like he could touch me with just his words… and whether it was a good thing or not, it comforted me.
He lowered his arms, and then he turned to face me.
It was as if time froze, like everything was snuffed out, light and darkness alike. One moment I was staring at him; the next my mind burst with an array of visions, but they were all at once, so much like physical pain that I pulled away and fell back.
I know this man? I’ve seen this man? Seen… him?
No, I’ve never seen him before. Never…
I’ve never…
I felt so many emotions at once, anger and fear, sorrow and hatred, but mixed with love and happiness, peace, excitement. This man held it all. Like I knew him, but had never known him.
A letter sprang unbidden to my mind.
T…
But the name was gone, and it never finished. It was locked away, locked into the darkness, or my heart, or perhaps into Kingdom Hearts.
I feel… so ashamed. I ran away from memories and visions, before I could remember anything else… but I didn’t know. I didn’t know it was so important. I wish I could separate my memories. There were things I didn’t want to remember, but there were also things I wanted to remember mixed in, somewhere within me.
I was a coward. The pain made me afraid, the unknown made me tremble, and I ran from it into what little safety I now knew. Which was nothing compared to what I must have known before.
And now I would never know. That may have been the only chance for me to get my memories back. But did I even want to know?
I had decided to go on with what I had now and make my new life, one that I could hopefully remember as a good life. But what if I had a chance to see what I was before…? Did I want to return to what I was before?
I wanted… I wanted to…
“Are you all right?”
I opened my eyes, slowly, the brilliant visions still blinding my eyes as I tried to focus on Xemnas, still standing in the same place.
“I want…” I managed out in a whisper, then my vision went up, my eyes caught Kingdom Hearts, and I was falling backwards, backwards into darkness.
***
I was only half-aware that I didn’t slam back onto the cold stone beneath me. Arms caught me, lowered my down so I was sitting on the ground barely, and I opened my eyes again, feeling so worn out, so strange, as if all my energy was spent.
All I did was look at Xemnas. Why?
I’m on the verge of fainting after looking at him? Is he really that good looking? I thought in the back of my mind, and the sudden flare of amusement egged me on to stay awake.
I looked up, and finally was able to focus on Xemnas’s face. It was like I forgot what he looked like the first time. But… why? Did I see something?
I—can’t remember.
But whatever happened a moment ago, I was able to see him now clearly, see those long silver bangs that drifted away from his eyes as he leaned over me, looking down at me.
Gold eyes? Just like Saïx’s, and Xigbar’s. How strange, but beautiful. His skin was a shade darker than theirs, though, and he had a slightly softer mouth, set into a mature, definite male face.
“What… what happened?” I managed out, confused and still only half-aware. Xemnas looked at me strangely for a split second, like he was waiting for me to say something else, then the emotion vanished and his face was calm.
“You fell and almost lost consciousness. Perhaps you didn’t get enough rest,” he said, but I shook my head, still puzzled but nevertheless feeling my mind reawaken now.
“No, I don’t—think so,” I murmured, although I couldn’t quite rule out that possibility.
“Let me help you up. Can you stand?” Xemnas asked, his eyes going to mine, and after a moment of staring back I nodded. With a gentle motion, he lifted me up on my feet. As soon as he did so, I knew I didn’t need any help standing, so I shook my head and he pulled his arms away.
He seemed to be studying me, and I didn’t know what else to do but stare back. For such a gentle touch, his eyes didn’t quite match that or his calm face. It was like he was smiling at me, and so much more emotions.
No, not so much emotions as… thoughts.
Those eyes managed to be cold and gentle, interested and amused, dark and secretive, all at once.
I felt… was I actually intimidated by him? He seemed to radiate a power, strong and yet silent, like at the same time he had no power at all. He confused me, and almost scared me, but in a way he also comforted me.
“Thank you,” I finally said, sincere, meaning him catching me before I hit the ground. Xemnas gave a smile and closed his eyes briefly.
“To see such an honest emotion… I almost envy you. Perhaps what Axel said will be true after all.” I looked at him, a bit puzzled and wary.
What did Axel say?
“Ah, I apologize for not introducing myself. My name is Xemnas. I am the leader of this Organization.” Xemnas held out a hand to me, and surprised but not seeing any reason to refuse, I took it. He smiled at me, his eyes narrowing as he let go.
“From what Axel says, you had incredible amounts of light deep inside your heart. But I can sense much darkness inside you as well.”
“Why am I here? Why did Axel come and take me from the darkness?” I finally blurted out, not caring to introduce myself since he already knew my name.
Xemnas looked like he couldn’t help but smile. I had a hard time identifying what sort of smile it was... or wasn’t.
“Why are you here? Perhaps you should ask yourself that. We only found you drifting in the darkness, and decided to pull you out. If we came upon you any later, the darkness would have taken you.”
I blinked, not expecting that answer. Was he being honest? I couldn’t tell at all. I thought I heard Axel and Saïx arguing about Xemnas’s order that had to do with me… Then again, Axel said ‘the boss’ was all right with what he had done. Did he mean taking me from the darkness? So Xemnas was all right with that fact?
I didn’t know. So I can’t trust anyone here?
“What do you mean by ‘taken me’?” I asked him, genuinely curious and wanting to know the dangers of the darkness. I wasn’t about to tell Xemnas that I didn’t know what I used to be, or what life I led before the darkness.
What if I didn’t exist before the darkness…? What if I was born of the darkness? Those two thoughts hit me at the same time, and for a moment they took hold of me, shoving aside all else except a surge of fear.
But—does it matter, who I was before?
“The darkness will take your heart if you stay inside it too long. You’re heart was almost gone.”
“What happens if I lose my heart?” I asked him now, a tendril of fear threading its way deep in my heart. Xemnas smiled at me then, and shrugged.
“That’s something you don’t need to worry about. We’ll show you how to use the darkness without losing your heart to it. The coat you now wear signifies you belonging with us and also protects you from the darkness and the Heartless,” he said to me, giving me an almost languorous look, making me feel strangely calm.
“I belong with all of you?” I said back, both as a statement and a question. “Xigbar said I was different. How can I belong if I’m different, and if no one tells me why I’m different?” I threw the question out to him, and had the astonishment and satisfaction of seeing Xemnas give me a rather surprised look, almost genuine. Almost…?
Was that it? Their emotions seemed genuine, their smiles, laughter, sarcasm, it all looked real. But with Xemnas, suddenly I wasn’t sure at all. Even his surprise seemed strange. What did that mean?
“Xigbar said that, did he?” Xemnas murmured, almost thoughtfully.
I narrowed my eyes a little, watching him for a moment. He met my eyes and then gave a full smile, his eyes widening slightly, going through me and freezing me for a moment. It was a look of utter control that made me unable to react for that instance, like I was an important piece in this game he played, someone he wanted. It was shocking to see him give that expression.
Now that was genuine. Wasn’t it?
“Do you need a reason to be here, to belong with us?” he asked me, and I jolted out of the trance, blinking a couple times as I quickly thought on what he said.
“…Yes, I do,” I answered him. Xemnas smiled at me, and raised a hand out between the air in front of us.
“Then I shall give you a reason,” he murmured, and waved his hand through the air. Letters appeared, the letters of… my first name, Melissa.
The letters hung in the air for a moment, and then they began to move, surrounding each other, mixing up, spinning around in a circle until they finally slowed to a stop. An X hung in the air above the mixed letters, and with a small motion Xemnas lowered the new letter into the mixture of my own letters, and inclined his head.
“You now have a new name. You shall be Xassielm, Number XV. I welcome you to Organization XIII…” he paused, raising his eyes to look at me for a brief second, and he smiled.
“…The Organization of Nobodies.”
***
“Thank you all for coming. Today is a momentous day. I’m pleased to announce that a new member has been chosen to wear the coat. Although she is not a Nobody, she is worthy to our cause, and belongs with us all the same. I have high hopes for her.”
I opened my eyes slowly, standing there in the shadows of Xemnas’s seat that loomed high up behind me. My hood was up at the moment, and at hearing his words I raised my head, slightly surprised and curious.
From my position and my hood being up, I couldn’t see who was sitting in about half of the seats positioned around the raised dais in a perfect circle. I did see Axel sitting casually in his seat, staring at me from far-away with a half-grin. The rest that I could see, a few members I didn’t know in the mix as well, were all staring at me.
It made me self-conscious with all the stares.
“Come on, Missy, get in the spotlight,” Xigbar said in an undertone to me, since he was standing next to me. I gave a slight nod and walked forward, him just a few feet behind me as a sort of escort.
“Let us all welcome one chosen by the Light,” Xemnas announced as I stepped forward, reaching the center of the dais.
I glanced up at the other thirteen members all around me, seeing Axel, Larxene, Saïx, Lexaeus, and the blonde-haired young boy that was with Axel. Most of the other members had their hoods up, and the ones that didn’t I hadn’t met yet. I thought Larxene had told me there were fourteen members here, but I only saw thirteenth seats.
“Number XV,” Xemnas finished.
I could feel his gaze on me, and turned slightly to look back up at him, past Xigbar who had a slight smile on. I met Xemnas’s eyes, and he smiled down at me, his eyes narrowing almost lazily.
I wonder… what use I am to him?
***

Four Days Later

“Hey, Mel—I mean, Xassielm! Are you awake in there?” I turned towards the door to my room, surprised at the knock and the voice accompanying it.
“Yeah. You can come in, Axel,” I called back. After a moment the door opened, and Axel looked in, almost curiously.
“Wow, it’s strange. I walk in Xion’s room whenever I want, but I feel like I have to ask your permission to come into your room,” he said with an almost apologetic grin.
“I appreciate it. It’s probably because you’re a lot closer to her than you are to me,” I said honestly as he walked over.
“Well, I suppose. I love how honest you are, Xassielm,” Axel said as he stopped near me, smiling, as usual. Did he ever have any other expression? I suppose he showed much more of himself to Roxas and Xion. He would often come home late with those two. The three of them seemed to be really close.
It kind of made me—jealous.
“Xassielm… I’m still not used to that name,” I murmured, seeing Axel scratch the back of his head for a moment in response.
“Well… it takes a little time. I mean, a new name is pretty big, especially when you went by another one for so long,” he finally said, as if trying to comfort me. His slight awkwardness made me smile inwardly.
“I guess so. Thanks, Axel,” I said to him, and he smiled in a sort of pleased, embarrassed way.
“It’s nothing,” he stated, then his eyes widened.
“Oh, I forgot why I actually came here! Yeah, the boss wants me to be your tutor today on using the darkness and stuff,” he said with a shrug and an ‘oh well’ grin.
I frowned slightly at hearing that. “The darkness… I still can’t get it right,” I said, and Axel waved my words away.
“Hey, that’s all right,” he began to say, but I shook my head.
“No, it’s not. I’m going to make myself use it. It’s just… slightly disturbing to use something that almost took my heart,” I finally muttered with a slight smile. Axel was silent for a moment at that, his smile gone and his gaze down towards the floor.
“…Hey, Melissa,” he murmured, startling me at the name he used.
“There’s something—well, never mind,” he finished in a low voice, looking back up at me. I titled my head, confused and wary, wanting to know what he was going to say. But after a moment the wariness faded, and I let it go.
“…Alright. If you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine. Just promise to tell me when you’re ready,” I finally said, hoping I didn’t sound too commanding to him. Axel’s eyes were a bit surprised, but he half-smiled at me then.
“Sure thing, kiddo. You know, you’re really refreshing to be around,” he said light-heartedly to me.                  

Even if I’m a little jealous of you. Well, at least I would be if I had a heart.
See? I am jealous.

***

“All right, are you ready? Remember, don’t show fear. The coat may protect you from most of it, but it’ll still get to you,” Axel said to me, not like it was anything I didn’t already know.
“I got it,” I said, inwardly sarcastic and having some slight self-loathing at my reluctance to summon the darkness.
I closed my eyes and reached out with my hand, movements that made me think of summoning darkness. Nearby, Axel gave a quiet snort. I had a hard time not sighing, but it almost made me laugh at the same time.
“Don’t you look professional,” he finally said. I opened my eyes to give him a small, withering look.
“Please, Axel, be quiet.” He shut up, watching me with raised eyebrows and crossed arms, trying to hide his grin.
Summoning darkness might be easy for them, but it was hard for me. I guess they were more experienced and all, but it was still a bit disappointing on my part.
Corridors of Darkness. They’re in every world, everywhere, waiting to be seen by the right person, waiting to be noticed. All I had to do was find it, and then I would be able to use it.
I closed my eyes and forced my mind away from thoughts of the light. Darkness rose up from dark thoughts and desires, as far as I knew, unless you could find the darkness so deep and thick that it was actually visible in the worlds of the light.
After a minute of trying to make myself angry and feeling stupid at the same time, I lowered my hand and sighed in quiet frustration.
“I just can’t do it. I don’t get how you guys can do it so easily,” I finally complained, unable to help it. It was so frustrating! This was just what I needed, something else to make me different from all of them.
Axel had a mixture of sympathy, sarcasm, and amusement all written across his face. How was that even possible?
“Here, let me explain it like this; maybe it’ll help you out more.” Axel uncrossed his arms and walked to stand next to me, at my side.
“Darkness and Light are the two sides of the same coin, right? Well, say that coin is your heart.” Axel’s eyes became slightly distant, and he pointed at his chest, around where his heart would be.
“Your heart has darkness and light inside it, all the time. Sometimes the darkness is bigger than the light, and sometimes the light is bigger. You could also see it as what you’re feeling. When you’re happy, or you’re excited, or you’re feeling love for someone, then the light is shining deep inside your heart.” Axel faced me and smiled a bit, seeing my curious, interested expression.
“Likewise, when you’re worked up over something, or you hate someone, or you’re depressed, then the darkness in your heart is deep and roiling.” He paused, looking away and absently scratching the back of his head.
“I’m not the best at explaining, but that’s kind of what it’s like. If you can learn how to control that light and darkness both, then not only will you be able to traverse the worlds using the light, you’ll also be able to use the darkness.” I followed Axel’s gaze across the dark streets of the city, to the castle in the distance and, shining just above it, Kingdom Hearts.
“I still don’t understand,” I murmured, but Axel stayed silent this time, instead simply continuing to stare at the heart-shaped moon.
I have light and darkness both. Everyone does. But which side will I control, and which side will I listen to? I want to belong somewhere, but where? Do I want to belong… here?
I looked down at the dark streets, just as it started raining. I cast low eyes at the distant buildings, and saw the dark shapes of heartless squirming and moving beneath them, at one with the shadows.
They told me what heartless were; hearts that had been stolen by the darkness from various people. It’s what I would have become if they had left me in the darkness. A mindless being, only being driven by the sole purpose of stealing other hearts and increasing their kind.
How… meaningless.
But Saïx told me that the heartless were the key to creating Kingdom Hearts. He said that a strange weapon called the ‘Keyblade’ was the only thing that would actually destroy a heartless and release its stolen hearts, and that it was those hearts that made up Kingdom Hearts.
But why did they want Kingdom Hearts so badly?
Saïx didn’t answer that question.
They only tell me what they want to. I know they’re using me, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. And I do like some of them here, like Axel, and Roxas and Xion, and Xigbar. Even Saïx and Xemnas, to a certain degree. So what do I do? I’m a part of this Organization now, I can’t leave it.
So in reality, I’m still lost in that darkness.
Darkness.
Darkness…
Darkness…
Something twisted inside of me, inside my heart. It wormed its way up through me, into my mind, increasing my emotions. I wanted to go somewhere else. I needed to be somewhere else, somewhere that I could learn, somewhere that was other than here!
“Xassielm?” Axel said, looking down at me curiously when I began walking forward. I didn’t hear him; I just knew where the darkness was now. I felt it inside me, and I called the surrounding darkness into a doorway, a Corridor. It was automatic, like it responded to my anger and frustration.
By the time Axel realized what I was doing and that a doorway was appearing right in front of me, it was too late.
“Xassielm! Melissa! Don’t do it, stop!”
The darkness swallowed me up, and then it was silent.
***
I stood there for a moment, dazed by what I had just done. I summoned the darkness after all, didn’t I? By using the darkness in my heart…
I blinked, the effect not making much difference in this dark realm. It was silent and pressing, yet it seemed calmer to me now than when I was trapped in it before. Was it because I had come here of my own free will, or was it because of this cloak I now wore?
I remembered Axel’s startled expression, and pulling away from my thoughts I quickly started forward, my stride long and my footsteps quiet. He could be coming after me any second now. Or is it that easy to find someone in the darkness?
I searched around me for another doorway, any doorway. Surely getting to another world would make it easier for me to keep away from him or any other pursuer for a while?
Before I knew it, I was striding on a dark path, winding its way into the darkness. I paused a moment, curious, then continued along it. Where did it lead, or did it lead to anywhere? Until now, I had been under the impression that the realm of darkness was—well, nothing but darkness.
Walking in this silent darkness, it seemed like time didn’t even exist. Was Axel looking for me, or did he just report to Xemnas or Saïx about my actions? They wouldn’t… punish me for what I did, would they?
It must have only been a minute later when I stopped walking. I now wanted to get out of the darkness and get into a world of the light. The path seemed to go on forever; that was probably true, when I thought about it.
I glanced around me, wondering how far I had gone, and spotted a doorway not too far off the path from where I stood. I smiled slightly and went off the path, heading for the doorway, excitement bundling up inside of me at where it would lead.
Xigbar and Saïx had explained to me about the doorways of darkness and how they led to the other worlds out there. When I mentioned it a couple days ago to Axel, he said that there were an infinite amount of worlds, and that filled me with anticipation and excitement. What were the other worlds like? Could I find some that had never been discovered before?
Would I perhaps find the one I had come from? Would I remember if I did?
I reached the doorway, and without hesitation I walked through it, leaving the realm of darkness...
…and into a sudden, bright light.
***
I raised a hand and shielded my eyes quickly, surprised at the sudden brightness and warmth I felt. What was this?
I blinked a few times and removed my hand, and stared with wide eyes at a burning, setting sun far off in the distance.
“Sunlight!” I burst out, excited and pleasantly surprised at the sight and feeling of it. When was the last time I had seen sunlight? I couldn’t remember at all, and the Castle was only lit by Kingdom Hearts.
I looked at the sun, and then around me in awe, smiling uncontrollably. I was standing in a city that was washed in the setting sun’s light, the buildings burnished with golds and browns all around, and the streets as well. I could hear what sounded like a… train, that’s it, somewhere in the distance down the streets.
The street I was currently standing on gently sloped downhill, into the heart of the city. Smiling still, I began walking down in that direction.
The town seemed to be very pleasant, having a peaceful, relaxing atmosphere. I heard a distant bell begin to toll, and glanced back behind me up the street, seeing a tall clock tower in the distance.
“It must be a nice view from up there,” I said, curious, and made it up in my mind to check it out someday. But not today.
Today I wanted to go down to the center of the town, where the most sound was coming from! The closer I got the more people I saw. Each one I passed were going somewhere, had their own lives, own destinations, but more than a few of them paid me a glance and gave a smile and a nod, or a curious look at the cloak I wore. I smiled or nodded back, becoming wrapped up in the atmosphere of this town.
“This almost feels familiar, walking in a town like this,” I murmured, straining my mind, wondering if this was where I came from. But I didn’t get anything else from that feeling, nothing of recognition from the town itself or the people. So… I must not have come from here.
As I walked down the street into a small area with a nearby shop, I heard laughing voices coming up behind me. I paused and glanced back, curious and surprised, just in time to see a group of three run around me and down the street.
“Ha, last one to the square has to buy the others ice cream!” the oldest boy said as he bolted ahead of the other two, laughing. The other boy was slightly overweight, and judging by the lightness of the girl who was slowly getting ahead of him, I was certain with some amusement that that boy would be the one buying the ice cream.
“No fair, Hayner! You always win!” he complained ahead to the other boy, who skidded to a temporary stop to grin widely back.
“Well, gives you something to shoot for!” was his retort, and laughing some more he continued to run until he was down the next street, and out of sight. The girl paused a moment to let the slowest boy catch up, but I noticed how she made sure she stayed ahead of him.
I shook my head, smiling, and walked after them since our destination was the same. They seemed only a couple years younger than I was, as with some effort I remembered how old I was.
They look like they’re having a lot of fun, I thought somewhat wistfully.
I wish I had friends like that to race and be with.
“But I don’t have any friends. Sad,” I muttered to myself, smiling despite the fact that the words did make me feel lonely. I didn’t have anyone to talk to, no one I actually trusted. Would I be able to meet someone here…someone to be a friend, someone I could trust?
I shook my head to try and clear it, desperate to stop thinking about it, and proceeded to the town square…or whatever it was called. I had the feeling I was never good with town and city definitions.
Though, how I knew that, I didn’t know.
***
I lost sight of the three kids, so despite thinking I might embarrass myself, I just started running. At first it was a jog, but that didn’t seem fast enough and I still didn’t see them. So I increased my pace more, and more, until the buildings and people I passed were a blur.
And then I started smiling, because I knew that this was something I loved doing: running. The past week of being with the Organization, of not being able to talk to someone, of not knowing who I actually was or what my past was, it all came out finally. All the stress that I didn’t know was building up inside of me finally released, and I ran even faster, breathing hard to keep up with my emotions, my eyes wide and my hair whipping around my face.
I saw that the street up ahead opened into a wide plaza, and bolted for it, assuming this was the destination of the group.
I practically flew out of the alleyway and quickly slowed to a stop at the edge of a railway track, just managing to miss the railway car as it drove past along its usual route.
I was breathing hard, but I felt much better, thanks to the great exercise and the release of the stress I had been carrying.
“Whoa, that was close!” I started, surprised at the male voice directed at me. “Are you all right?” It was the group of three, and the last words came from the girl, who was looking at me with some concern. For a moment all I could do was catch my breath and stare back, slowly straightening up. They were talking to me?
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I finally managed, and not seeing anything else to do, I walked towards them. The three of them stood by an open shop window, which was apparently selling the ice cream that they wanted.
The one named Hayner was smiling now, and waved me over.
“That was fast though! We all thought you were going to get ran over,” he stated, and the girl crossed her arms.
“That’s not funny, Hayner,” she scowled at him, and his smile dropped and he gave her a glare.
“Are you staring at the same person, Olette? She’s just fine,” he said back, and I couldn’t help but smile. The other boy caught it, having been counting up the munny he had and taking that moment to look up.
“What’s the smile for? Oh, sorry, I’m Pence,” he said, backtracking to introduce himself. I continued to smile, and gave a nod.
“I’m…” There was a brief moment of hesitation in me. What name did I use?
“I’m Xassielm,” I finally amended, and Olette stopped glaring back at Hayner to smile at me.
“Xassielm? Nice to meet you!” she said, and I felt a slow warmth in my heart at her words.
“So… the smile, then?” Hayner asked, looking more curious than anything as he ordered four ice creams from the shop clerk. I felt a bit taken aback that they were still commenting on that, but then it was so amusing and embarrassing at the same time that I smiled again.
“Um, I was smiling at the clear friendship between the three of you,” I said, and Hayner got an embarrassed frown on his face.
“What are you talking about? You make it sound like you don’t have any friends,” he said casually to me, leaning back with a curious expression. I blinked at his words, and didn’t say anything for a moment. Olette looked at me, saw my expression, and jabbed Hayner in the side, whispering something that sounded like an angry mutter to him. Pence looked back and forth, like he was unsure how to respond.
“Well, I don’t know if I have friends,” I answered back, and the three of them stared at me in silence. I looked away, self-conscious and wondering why I just said that. I only just met them, after all, but they were different from the Organization; I could feel it deep inside.
They’re probably still looking for me, I suddenly thought, my eyes widening. Talking to these three, I had forgotten all about the fact that I had sort of ran away from them. I wondered what they were all thinking? Was Axel upset? What about Saïx and Xigbar? Xemnas, even? Surely they’d be looking for me…
“Aw, c’mon, Xassielm, what are you saying?” Hayner’s words burst through my thoughts, and I looked back to them in surprise to be met with an ice cream bar waving in my face. Even more startled, I quickly took it, and found the three smiling at me.
“Yeah, I mean, aren’t we friends now?” Olette said to me with a sweet smile.
“Friends? But we just met,” I finally replied, confused, and Hayner gave a sigh and rolled his eyes.
“Just because you just met someone, doesn’t mean they can’t be friends.” Pence and Olette nodded to his words, and I looked down at the ice cream I held, and slowly smiled.
“I guess you’re right. Okay… we’re friends,” I said, a surge of elation going through me. No one in the Organization declared me to be their friend… Hayner grinned at me, his eyes lighting up.
“Alright, it’s settled! Hey, Xassielm, why don’t we give you a tour of the town?” he said, and I paused a moment, curious.
“What is this town called?” I had to ask, and Hayner gave me a disbelieving look.
“You’re here and you don’t even know what it’s called?” he said, and I nodded.
“We’re in Twilight Town,” Pence filled in. “I figured you were new around here, since we’ve never seen you before,” he added, and Hayner waved the words away.
“All right, come on. Tour time!” he proclaimed, and with that, I was somehow involved in a tour of Twilight Town.
***
It must have been a half an hour later when we reached the main area again, though with the sun constantly at twilight, it was hard to tell.
“I’m tired,” Pence finally made out, since we had ran all the way back from the Struggle Arena. Hayner laughed at him and straightened up, beginning to catch his breath.
“Yeah, well you need some exercise. And no more ice cream today!” he ordered, and Pence gave him an incredulous look.
“Huh?!” Olette and I laughed at them both, and I savored the feeling of being here, with these three, having fun.
Then I slowly stopped laughing. I shouldn’t be here… I suddenly thought, shock coursing through me. The Organization… that’s what I’m a part of. I’ve been gone for almost an hour, at least, and it was intentional.
Even though, now that I thought about it, I came to Twilight Town through a dark corridor. It was strange enough how I had called upon it in the first place.
How would I get back?
Despite the strangeness of the Organization, and not having any friends in it, I felt myself longing to go back to it now, at least for a little while. It was all I had, that place, with that simple room and those mysterious people.
“Hey, I should probably go now,” I finally said, feeling a bit put out at the thought of leaving these three, but nevertheless I had to say it sooner or later.
Hayner, Pence, and Olette looked at me in surprise.
“Huh? You have to go now?” Hayner repeated, and I nodded.
“I need to go… home. I unintentionally ran away,” I managed to say, thinking it was actually true, and Olette gave an encouraging nod.
“Oh, did you get lost? We could walk you back,” she offered, and I smiled but shook my head, amused slightly at the thought of them walking me back through the darkness.
“No, I’ll find my way back easily enough,” I said, and then noticed Pence was gone.
“Where’s Pence?” I asked aloud, surprised. Hayner whirled around to see Pence standing by the ice cream stand, and slapped a hand on his forehead.
“Aw, come on dude, way to ruin the moment! Didn’t I say you shouldn’t eat any more ice cream?!” he yelled at Pence, but it was futile, because when Pence turned around he had an ice cream in hand and was staring at Hayner like he was crazy.
Hayner sighed and turned away, looking grumpy, and it was hard for me to not laugh at his expression. Pence came back over, walked up to me, and then he held out the ice cream, much to all of our surprise.
“Here, have some ice cream before you go. It’s on me; we’re friends, right?” he said with a big grin. I stared at him in blank astonishment for a moment, then reached out, took the ice cream, and couldn’t help but laugh.
“Yeah, we’re friends. Didn’t I agree to that already?” I said, and Pence grinned again, along with Olette and Hayner behind him, who apparently had forgotten his exasperation at the ice cream.
“Hey, what’s the flavor of this ice cream, anyway?” I asked after taking a bite. It was sweet, but oddly salty…I actually liked it…
“That? It’s Twilight Town’s specialty! Sea Salt Ice Cream!” Hayner proudly declared with a smile to me. I grinned back, the group’s attitude contagious.
“Sea Salt? I’ve never had it before, but it’s actually really good!” Olette nodded in agreement.
“Yeah, isn’t it? With a name like ‘Sea Salt’ you wouldn’t actually think so, but it’s pretty good,” she said.
“Will you come back here again soon? I mean…” Hayner trailed off, and I gave an honest shrug.
“I’d love to come back again sometime. I don’t know if it’ll be soon, but…” Hayner held up a hand suddenly, a thoughtful look on his face. He rummaged in the pockets of his pants, until he finally pulled something out and proudly showed it around.
“Here, take this. I’ll get another one soon. This way, no matter where you are or how long it takes, someday we’ll be able to get together again,” he stated, and I took the small object, surprised even more.
It was a small marble-like sphere, shining a brilliant blue in the setting sun.
“Wow, it’s beautiful,” I said, pleased. “I can keep this?” I asked and the three of them nodded, Olette and Pence pulling out their own spheres and showing it to me.
“Just bring it back someday. By that time I’ll have yours, and you can give back mine.” I met Hayner’s eyes and gave a nod, and he grinned back. “Sure. I’ll give it back someday,” I said, closing my hand around the small sphere.